I am reminded...

I am reminded as the day approaches. The 4th of April that is. I can't believe it has almost be ONE year since I experienced such a low point in my life. For those who know me well, you know I am talking about Ms. Cindy and Mackie. For those who aren't familiar with this, they are two beautiful angels that went to spend eternity with Jesus last April.  It is still weird at times going back to church and them not being there, especially Ms. Cindy.  Time has dulled the pain to an extent. The broken pieces are still trying to be fixed. Life normally makes sense to me and I can accept it for what is handed to me, but I still haven't come to complete terms with all of this. Its hard to. I guess letting go of trying to make sense of it all is what I need to do. Because let's be honest, it will never make sense when a life (or lives) is cut short.

April 4th just happens to fall on Easter this year, so I have a mix of emotions. I want to celebrate and rejoice for Jesus, but a little bit of me wants to be sad because of Ms. Cindy and Mackie. I know she wouldn't want that, so I have been trying to stay focused on being positive.

Every so often I like to write a little poetry. I don't normally share my writing...like ever, so I am definitely stepping out of my comfort zone by sharing some of it.

As April 4th approaches, I am reminded of the pain,
When I heard the news, the tears came just like rain.

The weekend was nothing unordinary, just a little retreat with with Cru,
The sun was out. The sky was crystal blue.

Suddenly, Saturday changed by nightfall,
My life turned upside-down with a simple phone call.

I fell to the ground, cried out in disbelieft.
I had never been consumed by so much grief.

I wanted to be mad at God for what He did to me,
But then I was reminded of all He did to set me free.

The pain had been dulled with the passing of time,
I try to not be selfish and claim what is not mine.

This life is too short to fill it with sadness and confusion,
I must let go of a life of selfishness and delusion.

Thank You, God for letting my life be touched by an angel,
Through Your Love, I take my life and start to untangle.

Those two beautiful lives will continue to have a special place in my heart,
Even though the distance keeps us apart.

God bless. Love you all. <3 Kacey